Domestic Abuse Myths! 

MYTH: Alcohol and drugs makes people violent

It is important to remember that many people are violent when sober, some never touch alcohol but abuse their partner. Blaming drugs or alcohol is a way of denying abuse.

MYTH: It only happens in poor families on council estates, ethnic minorities or the uneducated

The truth is that domestic abuse can affect anyone. 

MYTH: Abusers grow up in violent homes

This is not true. Whilst some children who grow up in a violent home do go on to be abusive in their relationships, many do not.  Instead they are repelled by abuse as they have seen the damage it causes. People who blame abuse on their childhood experiences are avoiding taking responsibility for their actions. 

MYTH: They deserved it

People might be attacked by their partner for no apparent reason. Even if someone has behaved appallingly, they do not deserve to be beaten. Violence and intimidation are not acceptable ways to solve conflict in a relationship.

MYTH: Its because of stress

While at school and college we face a lot of different pressures and stressors; including homework, exams, having a job(maybe), seeing our friends, maintaining social media presence. These are not excuses to be abusive, if someone blames abuse on stress they are not taking responsibility. 

MYTH: Domestic abuse is a private matter, you should not get involved

While domestic abuse is a crime that often happens behind closed doors, it is still a crime and we all have a responsibility to speak out. It can also be very lonely for someone experiencing domestic abuse, for information on how to help a friend - click here!

MYTH: Domestic abuse is just hitting

Domestic abuse includes a lot of different aspects. It includes but is not limited to:

  • Psychological/Emotional abuse 

  • Physical abuse

  • Sexual abuse

  • Financial abuse

  • Verbal abuse

  • Coercive Control

MYTH: Abuse cannot happen in same sex relationships

Domestic abuse can affect anyone, 25% of people in same sex relationships experience domestic abuse. Men can abuse Men & Women can abuse Women.

For more information on abuse within the LGBTQ+ community - click here!

MYTH: If it was that bad they would leave

There are many reasons why someone who is in an abusive relationship may stay. They may have conflicting feelings, fear the repercussions of leaving or may be being manipulated and controlled and feel they have no choice but to stay. 

MYTH: Men can't get abused 

1:6 men experience domestic abuse, however they are much less likely to tell anyone if they are being hurt as part of a relationship. 

For more information on abuse against men - click here!

MYTH: Only people over the age of 16 can be abused

The government definition of domestic abuse includes those who are aged 16 or over - however domestic abuse can be seen in relationships between those who are younger than this and many organisations help those under the age of 16. 

For more information on where you can get help - click here! 

MYTH: Abuse just happens

Abuse doesn't just happen. Rather than being about a loss of control, as a lot of people believe, abuse is where someone is trying to build up power and control within the relationship. 

MYTH: Domestic abuse can only happen when you live with someone

You don't have to live together to be a victim of domestic abuse.

This information is up to date as of 28th March 2019 and will not be updated soon